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I see it in the faces of guys I’m meeting for the first time after being matched on e Harmony, even though we’ve exchanged weeks of witty banter and embarrassing confessions.

I hear it in the concerned tones of mentors and parents and friends who repeat phrases like “You’ve got such a pretty face,” and “I know you want to be married someday. ” Every ounce of my being cringes, because they’re probably right. I am talented and opinionated and passionate and valuable.

The fat explains the single, and both of these make me less of a Christian — or at least that’s the way it feels when a well-intentioned friend tries to convince me of the spiritual and relational merits of losing weight.

In my limited dating experience among believers, I can testify to the truth of Elna’s statement at the beginning of this post.

“As long as you’re a fat person who’s trying not to be fat, that’s acceptable. This rings especially true in the church when not only do people offer diet tips out of concern for my health and inability to acquire a spouse, they now also serve as a spiritual admonition.